Sunday, August 7, 2011
In order to tell the whole story, I have to back track a little. Late October 2010, I started feeling like something was going on. A few weeks into November, I knew something was going on. I stopped one day and bought a pregnancy test. Sure enough two blue lines. Wow! Another baby finally. I was so happy, so was Rick. I called the doctor right away and made an appointment. I was on pins and needles till our visit. Every little twinge made me nervous. The magic day arrived and sure enough, I was pregnant! Medication ordered and a whole list of vitamins suggested. Rick ran out to pharmacy and bought everything on the list plus some. We were so excited. I waited a while to tell everyone. Wanting to make sure we made it safely past the home plate. The day of our 20 week ultrasound, my heart was racing. I wanted a little girl so bad, guess what it was another boy. At first I felt a little sad, but it didn't take long for my smile to return. Here we go again, a little brother for my boys. I started looking at boy clothes and I became even more excited. I picked out cute little outfits that said things like Bananas for Mommy and Born Awesome. I love my boys and I knew it would be fun to have another. And of course everybody knows, boys love their Mommys like crazy. While this pregnancy was moving forward, so was our lives. A job opportunity came up for Rick that would move us closer to family. We were living at the time 29 hours away from our home. The decision to move while pregnant was scary but we decided it would be best for everyone. Rick had to leave us behind to start the job and it was just me and the boys for about a month. I was so lonely for my old man. Oh my goodness, every little kick from my tummy made me think of him. We talked on the phone about life, the kids and the baby every night. Finally school was out and we could move. I was eight months pregnant at this point. With some help from friends, I got the house emptied and our car loaded. We were on our way to be a together again. Guess what moving and pregnant in the summer heat, SUCKS! It was hard but I felt good and the baby seemed to tolerate it well. We got settled and I got tired. I slept a lot. My poor boys were bored out of thier minds but we managed to survive. The hardest part about moving was finding a new doctor. What a chore that was, no one wants to take a pregnant woman that close to delivery. I finally found someone, not my first choice but he agreed to take me, so I went for it. Wish I had choosen differently. I can not blame this man for what happened but I will never forgive him for what he did. The day my heart broke, the day I lost a piece of my soul, the day I had to give my baby boy to Heaven, the day I will never forget.