And there goes another one

In the blink of an eye another day goes by.
Halloween Number 2 without you.
No little one toddling along, digging fingers into skin, hiding head behind Momma legs as ghosts and goblins run screaming through the streets for more candy.

The weather is turning chilly here and we are in the start of bundling season. Sweet little sweaters and warm blankets ready for outings. I think of chubby red cheeks and runny little noses. I think of trying to squeeze wiggly arms into thick coats and pushing curled toes into warm boots. Of course those days will come and there is one kid and a baby to still bundle but no giggly little almost 15 month old. No little laughs as I chase him around the room in frustration as he resists the process.

I find myself staring off into space, daydreaming, imagining, wishing and wanting. Longing...
I know what I am missing. I know what could have been, should have been. Missing.

4 months on with a growing baby, sweet little baby boy. But not a replacement for the one who is so missed. Yet he does make the days so much more bearable with his happy little smile, laughing at his big brothers.